Sometimes I feel that my days are best described by the children’s book series “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie”. Where I am just running around constantly and at the end of the day, I think, “What did I get accomplished today?” This is how my series would play out:
If you give a Mom a cup of coffee, she’s going to need some creamer.
When she opens the fridge her 10 month old will try to crawl in.
As she picks him up she notices that he needs a diaper change.
She heads upstairs.
As she heads upstairs, her six year old comes in with her leg bleeding.
She’ll need a bandaid.
As she’s cleaning her daughter’s wound, the dog scratches at the door.
She goes to let him out, but as she’s walking out she realizes the gate is not up blocking the steps.
She reaches for the gate. Her son then yells that he needs assistance because he has locked himself in the bathroom.
She talks him through it.
As he is free from the bathroom her daughter yells, “Mom ,the baby is really stinky!”
After she changes him she passes her cold coffee. She heats it up.
As the microwave beeps, she notices her 10 month old playing in the dog’s water dish.
As she runs to get him, she slips on the water and almost falls. She turns around to get a papertowel.
When the spill is cleaned up, she heads to the trash to throw the papertowel away.
The microwave still beeps. She goes to get the coffee. The baby is back in the water dish. She needs to move him again.
As she walks across the floor, she steps on a monkey piece from the game “Monkey’s Jumping on the Bed” and breaks it. In pain, she tries not to scream out an obscenity.
She then asks the two older kids to clean up their toys.
The phone rings as she walks outside (with the baby)to get the dog. She hears her kids yelling at each other over cleaning up.
She needs to referee.
After the dog is out and fed, the kids are playing nicely, and the baby is contained she collapses for a moment (after putting the coffee in the microwave again) and listens to her voicemail. It is her husband saying he is trying his hardest to get out of work but he will be a little late.
Just then the kids need something, the baby starts harassing the dog and the dog is now scratching at the gate because now that is blocking his getaway upstairs.
She realizes how tired she is.
And chances are, if she realizes how worn out she is, she’s going to think to herself, “To h*** with the coffee”, she’s going to need some wine.